Our kids are in school together and last year they paid me to go pick their little girl up and have her stay with us after school. It was usually about an hour and a half or so but could be up to 3 hours. There were also times when she would just go home. But they paid me consistently because they figured they would be paying someone for after school care, why not me?
A little back ground of the little girl first. I love her. She is a wonderful little girl...most of the time. But like all kids they tend to get on your nerves if they are not your own. And I was with her everyday...while pregnant and hormonal. But I was fine with it because I felt like it was my responsibility as her "baby sitter" to just deal with it. Plus, she did keep mine occupied sometimes...when she wasn't wanting to hang around me.
So this year they have stepped in to take mine to school every morning so I don't have to get the girls out. Plus, the two of them ride the bus home, so the situation is different, but she is still here for the same amount of time every day. I still felt like her after school care had not changed.
OK, so the 2nd week of school just passed with no check. And I knew we hadn't talked about the money situation before school started and my heart just sank. Because I knew there was going to be trouble at the most and uncomfortableness at the least. I wish I could say that I could just keep her every day for free, but truthfully there were some days that money kept me from going insane with the extra noise and stuff. I would remind myself that this was my job and I would just deal with it. She never knew when I was irritated. This year is going to be worse in some ways because I have 2 new ones to try to care for on top of having two older ones to listen to. You know the whole, "we're bored with nothing to do " thing.
So I worried and fretted and practiced what I would say to my neighbor. I finally said something to her on Friday and she thought that since they were taking mine to school it all evened out. I am not sure why ten minutes equals and hour and a half. But she said she would talk to her husband. I told her that if it needed to be less this year that I understood since they were taking him to school. But I could tell it bothered her.
She just came over and talked with me. She said that she felt like it was more of neighbors helping each other out. I told her that in this small area it was business, just like if we asked her older daughter to babysit, we would pay her for her time. She talked of just putting her into other after school care, but dang people, I need the money.
But how do you tell someone that you don't mind watching their kid as long as your getting paid. You know?? Of course, I started crying like the big ninny I am. I hate that about me. We finally settled on the same amount as last year, but I don't feel good about it. She said she feels uncomfortable now. I hate that, too.
She also said she feels like they think of us as better friends than we do. Ouch!! That hurt because I know we haven't done nearly what they have done to help us out, but our lives are a little all consuming right now. Plus, we are kinda home bodies. We are not ones to go to our neighbors and knock on the door to hang out for awhile. We think of them as good friends but I guess the levels are different.
I just feel awful about the whole thing and wish that we had worked out everything in the summer.
So now you know.
P.S. Still haven't settled on my blog name
Siren
or
Tempest
Or maybe more appropriately...
Tempest
6 comments:
That is a BIG ICK!! What could be more uncomfortable? Your right though, on at several counts. It would have been better if y'all had been able to cover it before the school season started, but what on earth would make them think you were even. And when did being neighborly come with a score card. Being neighborly = car pooling, giving a helping hand once or twice when someone has a baby (let alone 2 at one time), asking if you need anything at the store cause they're heading that way...
Watching some one else child - every day - after school for several hours, while having 3 of your own (again never mind that 2 are fairly newborn) certainly falls under the category of work. and probably exhausting work at that.
sorry that this didn't go as you hoped, but maybe you should think about letting them find another sitter. if you would rather be 'friends' instead of what apparently has turned into business aquaintances, that might be your best course of action. on the other hand, you need the money...so, this is a tough one. maybe things will get back on firmer ground given time.
sending good thoughts your way.
Deb
i left a message for you on my blog, but in case you dont get that...drop me an email so we can talk about you guest blogging for me. :)
menard2530@yahoo.com
soon as you can cause i would like to get it by friday so i can set it up. and you rock!!
thanks!
deb
Ok Tempest Sara, I have stalked you thru Deb and am so glad to find you live like probably 45 minutes from me. (Promise I don't have the airial google on looking at your porch or anything). Anyway, I totally agree with Deb on this. You are saving them from arranging with another sitter and she apparently trusts you, so no amount of money can pay for that.
If you never volunteered, then I am wondering where she got the idea you would babysit for free!
Hang tough and know you are right. So glad to get to know you! Will definitely be back!!!!
Darn it - those are sticky situations too - aren't they! As long as you are true to yourself - that's all that matters! You dont want to feel resentment against someone so its good you're always honest about things & just go from there! Things have a way of cooling down after awhile so try not to worry too much about it!
You're right though - sometimes, money really sucks!
Ugh... so uncomfortable! And you are right, why does a quick ride equal out with watching their daughter (while also watching your NB twins and son?).
My DH & I are very similar to you, it sounds like. Nice, but quiet people who like our neighbors but we are more homebodies. With my pregnancy, and inability to ask for help, I am blessed to have a next-door neighbor who has offered to watch my daughter so I can go to all of my appointments. We trust this lady (more than I can say for a day care center), our daughter loves her, and she is a stay at home mom who is right next door. She is always available. We pay her, and she says it is too much, but I would rather overpay for good care then end up without someone we trust.
Anyway, the point of my rambling is that you would think they would be happy to pay you, someone they know and trust instead of a daycare. Good for you for saying something. I hope it gets less uncomfortable in the next days or weeks.
Heather
That's a tough one! I mean let's be for real knock knock knock hi we wanted to visit with you, oh but I'll be back in a min I have to get another baby and 2 swings for them to sit in, 2 bottles, and diapers oh and ummm whatelse might you need in the next 10 min.? It is totally impractical for you to be visiting her even if you weren't homebody! Things will calm down and get back to normal just give it a week or two. PS you can always complain to me about anything!
Post a Comment