Closing Blog

Ok, All of the 2 readers still reading :-)

Seriously, that's all that emailed me. Well, needless to say, I am not continuing to write for 2 people, sorry.

So, I am closing this one down for now. This will be my last post. You can keep up with my family blog here if you want to.

Thanks again for sticking with me until the end. Mwahh!!

Lady S

Facebook

Ok, readers. Heres the deal. I started this blog to be anonymous from my real life people. I wanted to be able to freely express myself about my ex, my family, and others in my life that I needed to gripe about. I wanted to share a part of myself here that I don't share with my real life friends (or very few of them.) I made this blog public one day with no notice. But now I have joined Facebook (I know, like I need another computer time waster) along with my Muliples group and God knows who will find it through my Dashboard on Blogger. So I am going private again. The problem is I am not sure who is reading now. So please email me if you want to continue. Please email me, I want you to read. I need lots of readers so that I feel good about myself (Ha!). I have a few of you already on my private reader list but please email me again so I know you are still reading.

blueladybug77@sbcglobal.net

This is also the reason I have not been posting on this blog very much. I started worrying about who was reading it. I will post more often after I become private. I will post a message right before I make it private to catch anyone I might have missed. Thanks!!

Blogging Funk

Can you tell?

I have so many posts in my head it's crazy, but no time to sit down and tell them. Plus, I have had some hard nights and days with little sleep. I am finally feeling better with my depression meds but not as good as I would like.

I am also wrestling with thoughts that my life is passing me by as I sit at the computer. I follow so many blogs it's ridiculous. And I waste time on frivolous surfing as my house sits waiting for my attention, my body waits for exercise, my business waits for me to get back to it,. I was hoping that my meds would help me in that way, but they haven't.

My sister in law is coming this weekend to stay. What the hell were we thinking? She has a 9 month old. I say again, What the hell?? She has been known to be critical of my housekeeping skills, or lack thereof. And that was when it wasn't all that bad. Now?? HA! It is truly pitiful and for the first time, I am embarrassed. You KNOW, it has to be bad for ME to be embarrassed about it.

But do I have time to clean? Hell, no! Even if I wanted to. Well, I guess that is technically not true since I sit here and type instead of folding laundry or some other chore. See what I mean?? ::Sigh::

Lady S

Random

I had to get that nastiness off the top of my blog. It had to come out but I am not proud of it. I am supposed to be all forgiving and stuff, but when your family is attacked it is hard to stand idly (idely?) by. BTW - I know that I basically did stand idly by because she won't get this message, but at least it is out of my brain.

I am almost finished with my book! It just got really good about 3/4's of the way in.

Ummm...what else?? I lost 4 pounds just by cutting out my cream and sugar laced coffee every day. Hey, I am a zombie, but 4 pounds lighter. Whoo-hoo!

Hmmm ok going to take a nap :-)

Lady S

Family Drama

Dear psycho witch crazy best friend sister girl who came to live with my parents,

I have ignored a lot over the last 17 years. I have said nothing and just listened to mom go on and on about your antics. I have to address this.

You said my mom has emotionally abused you since you were 14.

Oh, let's see here. Which of these events can be seen as abuse? Let's run through them shall, we??

Was it when she welcomed you with open arms into her home as another daughter when your own mother beat you? When she signed the papers to become your legal guardian? When she re-decorated your room however you wanted so you would feel like it was truly your home?

Was it when you were a junior in high school and decided to get married? When she told you that she would support you in whatever you wanted and pay for your wedding if you waited 7 months until that summer? When you moved back to your real mom's just so she would sign the papers for you to get married at 15? When you broke her heart into a million pieces when you left?

Was it when you gave birth to your first child at 16 and she boasted about her first grandchild? When she loved that child to distraction?

Was it when you married husband #2 and she paid for and did everything for your whole wedding? When you gave birth to son #2 at 18 and she welcomed her 2nd grandchild into the world?

Was it when she paid for your rent, utilities, and tuition to go to Paralegal school when husband #2 turned psyco? When you decided that being a paralegal "just wasn't your thing"?

Was it when you and husband #3 wanted to move onto her land, her father's land, so she gave you 4 acres? Or was it when she had to buy that land back from the bank when you filed for bankruptcy and you didn't put the bank loan on it? WHEN SHE HAD TO BUY BACK HER OWN LAND??

Was it when the people came to repossess your mobile home that had been sitting empty for months and they tossed your crap that you had left in it out the back door? And she had to clean up your garbage and crap and filth that had been sitting inside your home for months?

Or was it when you cheated on husband #3 and he took your son #3 with him and you let him(!!) because he wasn't good enough for you anymore (note: he was the best thing that ever happened to you) and she stood by you still?

Was it when she paid for your kids clothes, toys, furniture, food or anything else you might not be able to provide for them?

Was it when you moved 1000s of miles away with husband #4 and let your 2 Elementary school kids come home from school to an empty apartment with no phone to call for help if they needed it? When she paid for a cell phone for them to have because she worried to death about them?

Was it when you moved back and she watched your 2 oldest kids everyday of the summer so wouldn't have to stay home by themselves? When she took them to work with her?

Was it when son #1 decided he couldn't take your abuse anymore and moved in with his dad?

Or was it when you decided that she (or anyone else in our family) shouldn't see your son #2 because we have too much drama in our family? Ummm...YOU are the drama!! Our lives would have been pretty dull if not for you and we would have been fine with that. We haven't seen or heard from him in over a year??

Is it when you won't let your son #2 see his own brother because you think he might tell him something about our family missing him?

You selfish, lying, piece of dirt...tell me which of those events consists of emotional abuse. I would really like to know. Oh I see now, they all point to emotional abuse. Too bad you can't see that it is pointing right from you.

signed,
your sister best friend my mom's advocate