Closing Blog

Ok, All of the 2 readers still reading :-)

Seriously, that's all that emailed me. Well, needless to say, I am not continuing to write for 2 people, sorry.

So, I am closing this one down for now. This will be my last post. You can keep up with my family blog here if you want to.

Thanks again for sticking with me until the end. Mwahh!!

Lady S

Facebook

Ok, readers. Heres the deal. I started this blog to be anonymous from my real life people. I wanted to be able to freely express myself about my ex, my family, and others in my life that I needed to gripe about. I wanted to share a part of myself here that I don't share with my real life friends (or very few of them.) I made this blog public one day with no notice. But now I have joined Facebook (I know, like I need another computer time waster) along with my Muliples group and God knows who will find it through my Dashboard on Blogger. So I am going private again. The problem is I am not sure who is reading now. So please email me if you want to continue. Please email me, I want you to read. I need lots of readers so that I feel good about myself (Ha!). I have a few of you already on my private reader list but please email me again so I know you are still reading.

blueladybug77@sbcglobal.net

This is also the reason I have not been posting on this blog very much. I started worrying about who was reading it. I will post more often after I become private. I will post a message right before I make it private to catch anyone I might have missed. Thanks!!

Blogging Funk

Can you tell?

I have so many posts in my head it's crazy, but no time to sit down and tell them. Plus, I have had some hard nights and days with little sleep. I am finally feeling better with my depression meds but not as good as I would like.

I am also wrestling with thoughts that my life is passing me by as I sit at the computer. I follow so many blogs it's ridiculous. And I waste time on frivolous surfing as my house sits waiting for my attention, my body waits for exercise, my business waits for me to get back to it,. I was hoping that my meds would help me in that way, but they haven't.

My sister in law is coming this weekend to stay. What the hell were we thinking? She has a 9 month old. I say again, What the hell?? She has been known to be critical of my housekeeping skills, or lack thereof. And that was when it wasn't all that bad. Now?? HA! It is truly pitiful and for the first time, I am embarrassed. You KNOW, it has to be bad for ME to be embarrassed about it.

But do I have time to clean? Hell, no! Even if I wanted to. Well, I guess that is technically not true since I sit here and type instead of folding laundry or some other chore. See what I mean?? ::Sigh::

Lady S

Random

I had to get that nastiness off the top of my blog. It had to come out but I am not proud of it. I am supposed to be all forgiving and stuff, but when your family is attacked it is hard to stand idly (idely?) by. BTW - I know that I basically did stand idly by because she won't get this message, but at least it is out of my brain.

I am almost finished with my book! It just got really good about 3/4's of the way in.

Ummm...what else?? I lost 4 pounds just by cutting out my cream and sugar laced coffee every day. Hey, I am a zombie, but 4 pounds lighter. Whoo-hoo!

Hmmm ok going to take a nap :-)

Lady S

Family Drama

Dear psycho witch crazy best friend sister girl who came to live with my parents,

I have ignored a lot over the last 17 years. I have said nothing and just listened to mom go on and on about your antics. I have to address this.

You said my mom has emotionally abused you since you were 14.

Oh, let's see here. Which of these events can be seen as abuse? Let's run through them shall, we??

Was it when she welcomed you with open arms into her home as another daughter when your own mother beat you? When she signed the papers to become your legal guardian? When she re-decorated your room however you wanted so you would feel like it was truly your home?

Was it when you were a junior in high school and decided to get married? When she told you that she would support you in whatever you wanted and pay for your wedding if you waited 7 months until that summer? When you moved back to your real mom's just so she would sign the papers for you to get married at 15? When you broke her heart into a million pieces when you left?

Was it when you gave birth to your first child at 16 and she boasted about her first grandchild? When she loved that child to distraction?

Was it when you married husband #2 and she paid for and did everything for your whole wedding? When you gave birth to son #2 at 18 and she welcomed her 2nd grandchild into the world?

Was it when she paid for your rent, utilities, and tuition to go to Paralegal school when husband #2 turned psyco? When you decided that being a paralegal "just wasn't your thing"?

Was it when you and husband #3 wanted to move onto her land, her father's land, so she gave you 4 acres? Or was it when she had to buy that land back from the bank when you filed for bankruptcy and you didn't put the bank loan on it? WHEN SHE HAD TO BUY BACK HER OWN LAND??

Was it when the people came to repossess your mobile home that had been sitting empty for months and they tossed your crap that you had left in it out the back door? And she had to clean up your garbage and crap and filth that had been sitting inside your home for months?

Or was it when you cheated on husband #3 and he took your son #3 with him and you let him(!!) because he wasn't good enough for you anymore (note: he was the best thing that ever happened to you) and she stood by you still?

Was it when she paid for your kids clothes, toys, furniture, food or anything else you might not be able to provide for them?

Was it when you moved 1000s of miles away with husband #4 and let your 2 Elementary school kids come home from school to an empty apartment with no phone to call for help if they needed it? When she paid for a cell phone for them to have because she worried to death about them?

Was it when you moved back and she watched your 2 oldest kids everyday of the summer so wouldn't have to stay home by themselves? When she took them to work with her?

Was it when son #1 decided he couldn't take your abuse anymore and moved in with his dad?

Or was it when you decided that she (or anyone else in our family) shouldn't see your son #2 because we have too much drama in our family? Ummm...YOU are the drama!! Our lives would have been pretty dull if not for you and we would have been fine with that. We haven't seen or heard from him in over a year??

Is it when you won't let your son #2 see his own brother because you think he might tell him something about our family missing him?

You selfish, lying, piece of dirt...tell me which of those events consists of emotional abuse. I would really like to know. Oh I see now, they all point to emotional abuse. Too bad you can't see that it is pointing right from you.

signed,
your sister best friend my mom's advocate

My Office

Ok, ya'll. This is my motivation. I plan on working on my side of the office this week. I know it's bad, isn't it? I have a habit of making piles and then never getting to them. I also have a wonderful mom who while trying to straighten up my kitchen moves my piles from the kitchen to my desk so I have more piles. I also have a wonderful son who draws me lots of pictures. I have to put them somewhere so they have started to take over my desk. Plus, I have all these tinkets of love from him. Look...

We have (from left to right) a little dog from a gumball machine, a purple game piece, a rock with a "fossil" in it, buttons from who knows where, blue ladybugs (these are mine, I have a thing for blue ladybugs), a secret coded message that says I love you, a small drawing that he made with a Z on it, seashells from my trip to Port O'connor (mine), a heart he made at day care 3 years ago, and 2 erasers that he got at school out of the prize box. Yea, so it's hard to have a neat and tidy space when he adds to it all the time. I may have to make him a special place away from my keyboard.

We have a hodge-podge of shelves, tables, and bookcases to put everything on. I am super organized in there...I just need to put things where they go. Everything has a place, just everythings is not in its place. So I am planning on cleaning it up this week and maybe next. So now that it's out there I have to, right? Yes!

Lady S

Look below for a post about how we celebrated our anniversary

It has been two glorious years since our wedding. I had so much fun planning this one. We got married at this really great spot in Downtown Fort Worth. It was perfect for our little get together. (I spent the night before at the hotel next door. You can see it below - it is the little white building. We also got ready there)

It was on the top floor of a restaurant on the Sunset Patio.

The Sunset Patio overlooked the next floor down which was also a patio and there is where we had our reception. It was all open except where we actually got married.

It rained that morning and everyone scrambled to get under shelter and also to protect the cake, pictures, candy and all that from getting wet. I will never forget looking out the window as I was getting ready and saying, "It's raining!"

They say it is good luck to have rain on your wedding day so I held on to that.

Everything was DIY (do it yourself). I did everything from the invitations, to the flowers, to the candy buffet, to the advice cards we had. My mom did the wedding cake and his mom did the grooms cake.

One of my favorite things was that we had pictures of our grandparent's and our parent's weddings displayed.

We wanted to include Z in everything so he walked me down the isle.

He also said, "I do" when asked Who gives this woman to be married?". Mac said vows to him and gave him a pocket watch to remember the day. We also had a sand ceremony where we each (me, Mac and Z) had our own color of sand to pour into a vase to signify our lives coming together.

We laughed through the whole thing practically

Since our wedding was just 2 hours long we had our photographers for a little longer. We walked all around the downtown area with them snapping pictures of us along the way. We had great fun!

He proposed to me on that balcony right there that he is blocking with his head.
This is at Bass Hall

We were actually running in this picture. It was a cool thing the photographer did.

At this corner there is wind tunnel that causes the wind to always blow. When we were dating we always went downtown to a theater or restaurant. We would stop at this corner and kiss as we waited for the light to turn. I would hear music as my hair would blow all around us. ::sigh:: Sappy, yes. We wanted to be sure and get pictures of it.

I call this one our Hollywood shot



Our little family

OK, so that turned into a longer post than I realized! Go here to see more great pictures from that day. Some of them are here on the post but there are some that aren't.

Cross posted on Twice as Nice

Lady S

Fun Name Game

I got this from my friend Deb's blog and then I found a few more to add to it from Monica's blog. Thanks for the fun, you guys!!

The Name Game

1.Your real name: Sara

2. Your rock star name (first pet, current car): Maggie Kia

3. Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Vanilla Flip Flop

4. Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Otter

5. Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born): Cindi Irving (me like!)

6. Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): Pucsa

7. Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Pink Martini

8. NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers): Robert Walter

9. Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Light Blue Twix (HA! That actually sounds like a real dancer's name)

10. TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Swan Sacremento

11. Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Independence(Day)Tulip

12. Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Watermelon Skirt

13. Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Oatmeal Willow (that's a cool one too!)

14. Movie star name (first pet's name, first street where you lived): Maggie County Road 311 (Hmmm...I don't think so)

15. Gansta name: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.): Sarizzle

16. Iraqi name: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your last name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letterof your moms first name): Acpalje or better known as Gobbledeegook

17. Witness protection name: (parents middle names): Elizabeth Donald

18. Goth name: (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Ally (cool!)

Lady S

Back to back book reviews

I told you I was a speed reader. I flew through Hunger games in one day and wish I could have slowed down but I had to finish it.


Since I was already reading Into the Fire before Fall Reading started I finished it up quickly so I could delve into the others. If you are a Suzanne Brockmann fan then this book will not disappoint you. I have been following her since 1996 when she came out with her Tall, Dark, and Dangerous series about Navy Seals. Oh, man these are good books. But you can't just pick up this book and start in on it because there are so many back stories here. Get the rest of this series on Ebay or whatever you have to do to catch up. It is def worth it. They go way beyond your normal romance novels. She stays with the same group of characters so you don't have to say goodbye to them after you finish the book up. And since I didn't cry reading this, it gets 0 on the kleenex scale.


OK, I was super excited about getting into this book. Stephanie Myers recommended it. I have read and loved this author's Overlander series. This book was depressing. No ifs ands or buts about it. When you start reading you wonder how it can possibly end well. And then you know it can't. It is a well written story. I just didn't like the story. Near the end she throws this weird series of events that is so far in left field that it just seemed too much. This will be a trilogy and I will probably read it but I don't reccomend it. It will leave pictures in your mind. It has occupied my thoughts since I finished it. Go here if you want to have a full run down of the plot. I cried one time so I give it 1 kleenex.






Next up is this one





Hopefully I will take more than a few days to read it or I will have to add a whole lot to my list :-)

Lady S

Confessions of a new mom

~Overwhelmed

~Exhausted

~Emotional

Just a few of the things I am feeling today. I am probably PMSing but it doesn't really matter if I am because the feelings are there and real. I posted on my other blog how I was feeling about going shopping. It was posted as a joke, but it really shook me up because it is so not like me. I spoke to me counselor about it. Yes, I see a counselor. I think everyone should see one sometime in their lives. The trick is finding one you click with. I have been seeing Cindy for 5 years now. She knows me well and has been there through it all with me. But I digress... She says it is good that I have gotten back on an anti-depressant. That it sounds like I am going through a little depression right now (forever). That what I experienced, actual anxiety about going in public, points toward it. I have been taking them for about 10 days and I am not really feeling any different. It is a new one that I never taken before so I may have to find another one.

I am just so overwhelmed with caring for two 3 month olds. And I am bummed that I am so overwhelmed by it. I mean, I handled a classroom full of students at a time with excellent results and I can't handle 2 of my own (I mean, I do it, but I struggle because I want to do it more efficiantly and without needing so much extra help). I worked in daycare where I cared for more than 2 at a time and now I am having such a hard time. Most of it is a lack of rest. I get maybe 3 hours of sleep at any one stretch for a total of maybe 5 or 6 hours a night. Since my body is still recovering from pregnancy and surgery and the whole congestive heart thing, I am so so tired all the time. I also have a mild case of arthritis that causes my body fatigue.

I know that they need play time throughout the day, but I just find myself putting them into the swing, bouncer, under their play gym, under their mobile, or something like this for play time. I know I need to be right in their face with toys and books keeping them engaged. They will sleep better at night for it, but I find myself just wanting them to sleep, so I can get a moment of peace myself.

I feel so inadequate :sigh:

Fall Into Reading 2008

Oh Goodie!! Over at Callapidder Days Katrina is hosting Fall into Reading again this year. I am all over this!! I lurv to read and I am a super fast reader, like I finished the last Harry Potter book in 2 days, fast and the one before that in 1 day. Not to brag because it is not a good thing sometimes. I tend to lose little details in order to just.get.it.finished! But with this challenge I am also going to slow down a bit so I can get all the details. I am super excited about this. Not only because I love to read but I get to go find out what other people are reading too and get some good ideas.

So here is my list for this Fall:

I am hoping these will last me the whole time. I am probably going to be adding more as I finish these and since I will be getting good ideas from others. Join me in this reading challenge!!

Lady S

Here it is...

My new header and template. The three column one would not work with my new header so I am settling for a plain blogger one. Notice I put 5 bugs for the 5 in my family. But any suggestions?? Honesty again, please.

Still working on it...

...but what do you think so far? I want honest opinions here. I know the font is a little fuzzy up there. I made the whole header in Paint, so I am not sure how to make it clearer. I would love for Shauna to design me a template but I just can't justify the $$ being spent for something so frivolous when there is formula, diapers, and all that jazz to buy. Tomorrow or the next day I am going to play around with a different template. Maybe just a 2 column one. I am not 100% happy with it just yet, but it's getting there.

Suggestions??

Under Construction

Bear with me as I try many different headings and templates today and tomorrow :-)

New Name for my blog

Mac just looked at a t-shirt I have on and said, "Your blog should have been that." Oh, and he is so so right!!

SO...

We are in for some major changes, name, heading, the whole kabang!! And I am super excited about it. I love the whole upside down flower so I might keep that, but just add to it. But as far as the whole Tempest, Siren, thing, it just wasn't fitting you know? Like a itchy shirt you want to fit so bad! But it's just not me!

SO...I am changing it up a bit. I am hoping to make it on my own but I may talk with Shauna about making me a whole new blog layout.

Hold onto your pants, people!!

Just plain Sara for now

The Mystery of the Note

I discovered something as I was writing in one of my many notepads this last week. First let me give you a little background about me and my notepads.I am a notepadaholic. Every time I go to the store and see a pretty notepad with a flower or a ladybug on it, I HAVE to get it. I have maybe 10 notepads that are pretty and...empty. But let me tell you. If I came across these at the store...

It wouldn't matter if I had 20 at home, I would again HAVE to get them and I just might get the matching pens to go with them. Although I would probably leave them in order to justify getting the notepads. I would say to myself that I am being so good about leaving the pens that the notepads are just a given.

All this to say, I have no idea how long I have had this notepad. It could have been 10 years for all I know, but I don't think so. I really thought I only had this pad for about 5 years. Anyway, I flipped to a clean, fresh, middle-of-the-notepad page and I see a note written.

Whenever you read this
know that wherever I am
that I am thinking of you.

Aww, how sweet of Mac to write a note to me that he knew I would come across one day. Yeah, but see...It wasn't Mac's handwriting. Hmmm...And I found that out the hard way by thanking him for it. You can imagine how that conversation went:

Me: Thanks honey for the note you wrote me in my blue notepad. It was so sweet how you wrote it knowing I would sometime come across it.
Mac: huh?
::Silence:: because now I have a sinking feeling that this is not his
Me: Didn't you write me a note that says blah blah, (everything it says...)
Mac: I didn't write that
Me: Oh...well ok, seeyouwhenyougethomebyebye

We actually laughed about it later, but he pretended to stomp around for awhile. He asked who it could be from then jokingly said, "You know, which 1 of the many." He thinks he is SO funny!
There weren't many; just 3 who actually were around enough to do this. That's not many, is it? I think no.

As I sit and examine the handwriting I am thinking it could be from my ex, but did he write his I's like that? Chances are it is, but it is so out of character for him. I would have found it earlier if it was before he left the first time (Oh, yes, there was more than once, details for another post, another time). It could be from the guy I dated after my ex. We'll just call him Army. In fact, as I study it further (because in my OCD self I cannot just throw it away and not think of it), I am pretty sure it is from Army. It is written with a green glitter pen that I was in the habit of using around the time when we were together. He is happily married now as well and I am sure he is not thinking of me.

I have thrown it away. It is funny how life changes. He wrote that knowing full well that I would find it one day. He wrote it thinking we would still be together when I did. Not knowing that it would one day come to an end. He was a welcome part of my life at a time when I was broken because the Ex had left. It hurt almost as bad to lose him. He probably doesn't know that.

Why did have to blog about this?? Cuz it was up there...and it had to come out..

Tempest

Breaking Dawn

Attention - Spoilers ahead

I will be talking about the book in it's entirety, including the ending, so consider yourself warned.


There are so many conflicting opinions about this book. A lot of people have complained that everything was tied up in a nice neat bow. Gail Gauthier's web site has some very good points on it. She says people have forgotten that these books are romances. That's how romances are; nice wonderful endings that may seem a little too good to be true. Maggie Stiefvater has a pretty good handle on what the fans think. She thinks that we respect writers more when they kill people off ( J.K. Rowling) There were no deaths here, besides the obvious one of Bella's human life.

My take on it:
I loved it!! LOOOOved it. I closed it with a sigh of happiness that all is well in the Cullen household. I finished it in 2 days. I am a crazy fast reader. I did go back and read the last portion again more carefully to get all the details.

I really appreciate that she didn't try to get out of making Bella a vampire. We have all been waiting for it so I am glad it finally happened. I think it was great that Jacob will always be a part of the family. It was agony to read about him and his heartache in previous books so I am glad he will see a happy ending as well. I also liked the way for the first time, she broke the book into parts from another person's point of view. Very important for that portion of the book I think. I think Renesme was a positive addition to the family. A little weird with the whole ripping out of Bella thing, but I can get over that. I do think it was ridiculous that she wasn't a typical newborn vampire. I mean, come one. That was a little too convenient. I also appreciated the lack of death. The one girl vampire that died we didn't really know that well. Plus, her mate had been killed so it was almost like they put her out of her misery. A fight would have been nice, though. A few heart pounding pages of "Oh no someone's going to die!" would have made the book even better.

So do you think it's done? This series? Or will she continue it? Mac thinks she will continue it. Me? Not so much. I think she tied it all up. I mean, we may want to know how Renesme grows up to be with Jacob, but I just don't see another book about it.

Next book up is Into The Fire by Suzanne Brokman. A small confession...I am already half way through it and will prob be done tomorrow. So a review of that coming up next week.

Oh Yes, I will be guest posting on Deb's blog on Sunday. Come visit me! I will be posting about saving money.

Tempest

Remembering...

I was pregnant on this day 7 years ago. I was teaching in my classroom when our assistant principal came in and whispered the news of what had happened. We gathered outside our classrooms with one foot in the door and our eyes on the kids as we spoke of what was happening.

"There was another plane..."
It was then that I first grasped what was really happening. That this wasn't a random accident. And I also realized that this was not a tiny commercial airplane. That there were hundreds of people on those planes and inside those offices.

"There are people jumping..."
I will never forget the horror I felt as I heard those words. The chill that ran down my spine. What could they be experiencing that was worse than stepping out into nowhere, knowing there was nothing that would catch them?

"The building fell..."
How could the building possibly fall?

"The other building fell..."

"The Pentagon is on fire..."

"There is another plane, but it went down..."
How many more were there??

We had to carry on as though nothing was happening for the kids' sake. We locked down the school and parents began picking up their children. Mine was safe inside me, but I wondered..."What kind of world am I bringing my child into?" I still ask this question today.

We say we will never forget and we won't...but we have to be reminded. We don't go around thinking of this 24/7. We go on about our daily lives and when a plane flies low, we are jerked back to the terror of that day and we wonder just for a second where that plane is headed. And we watch it for a second before we shake it off. We see a bag sitting somewhere that it doesn't really have a reason to be and we wonder for a second if it's a bomb. We stare at it and then shake it off. Because it couldn't really happen...but it did.

Will we ever be able to see a plane without remembering?
I hope not...

Will we ever look at the skyline of NYC without remembering?
I hope not...

I hope not...

And I will leave you with one of my favorite pics from that day

cross-posted from Twice as Nice

Wine - Oh lovely wine

I had a glass of wine tonight. Yummy... And yes, this is news. It has been about a year now since I have had any...ANY!! I was in the middle of IVF last year at this time and I couldn't have any. Oh but I missed it during this year. Both Mac and me had a glass. It was blackberry. It was yummy.

My poor mom thinks I am an alcoholic because I enjoy the taste of alcohol. When she comes over she tsks at the bottles we have that are still full from two years ago. I try to tell her it is when they disappear from visit to visit that she should worry. She's all, "but you're a Christian and you shouldn't" Well, yes I am but I don't see a problem with having, oh, maybe a dozen drinks...a year. I hate the taste of beer. It holds no interest for me what so ever. I enjoy flavored martinis. There is this pear one that is so so yummy!

My ex and I did not drink while we were married. He didn't think it was good so we didn't. So when he left, it didn't take long for me to be introduced into the world of booze by my friends. I sampled around, but mostly didn't like it. There was a great day when my ex walked into my kitchen and saw a bottle on top of my fridge. He stopped and looked at it and then looked at me. He started to sat something then stopped. "What?" I asked. "Nothing" he answered because there was nothing he could say or do about it. Ha! It was a great moment.

I have never been drunk. Tipsy, yes. Almost drunk, yes. The closest I have ever came was at a friend's bachlorette party. She and her sister are gorgeous and so are their friends, so needless to say we were surrounded all night with free drinks. But I can still say I have never been drunk. Hmmm...there was that one time that I threw up, but I had only been drinking for about 30 mins. Does that count? I don't think so. I never got a chance to be drunk that night.

OK, why this post turned into this I don't know but I guess it needed to come out. I recently found out that a friend is reading my family blog along with her little girl, who I used to teach. I can't very well talk about this now can I?? Another fantastic reason for starting this blog.

Tempest

Why I Hate Money Sometimes

PERFECT example of why I need this blog! So I can blog about my neighbor! They are wonderful people. Very caring and selfless. They stepped in and did so much when I was pregnant and after the girls came.

Our kids are in school together and last year they paid me to go pick their little girl up and have her stay with us after school. It was usually about an hour and a half or so but could be up to 3 hours. There were also times when she would just go home. But they paid me consistently because they figured they would be paying someone for after school care, why not me?

A little back ground of the little girl first. I love her. She is a wonderful little girl...most of the time. But like all kids they tend to get on your nerves if they are not your own. And I was with her everyday...while pregnant and hormonal. But I was fine with it because I felt like it was my responsibility as her "baby sitter" to just deal with it. Plus, she did keep mine occupied sometimes...when she wasn't wanting to hang around me.

So this year they have stepped in to take mine to school every morning so I don't have to get the girls out. Plus, the two of them ride the bus home, so the situation is different, but she is still here for the same amount of time every day. I still felt like her after school care had not changed.

OK, so the 2nd week of school just passed with no check. And I knew we hadn't talked about the money situation before school started and my heart just sank. Because I knew there was going to be trouble at the most and uncomfortableness at the least. I wish I could say that I could just keep her every day for free, but truthfully there were some days that money kept me from going insane with the extra noise and stuff. I would remind myself that this was my job and I would just deal with it. She never knew when I was irritated. This year is going to be worse in some ways because I have 2 new ones to try to care for on top of having two older ones to listen to. You know the whole, "we're bored with nothing to do " thing.

So I worried and fretted and practiced what I would say to my neighbor. I finally said something to her on Friday and she thought that since they were taking mine to school it all evened out. I am not sure why ten minutes equals and hour and a half. But she said she would talk to her husband. I told her that if it needed to be less this year that I understood since they were taking him to school. But I could tell it bothered her.

She just came over and talked with me. She said that she felt like it was more of neighbors helping each other out. I told her that in this small area it was business, just like if we asked her older daughter to babysit, we would pay her for her time. She talked of just putting her into other after school care, but dang people, I need the money.

But how do you tell someone that you don't mind watching their kid as long as your getting paid. You know?? Of course, I started crying like the big ninny I am. I hate that about me. We finally settled on the same amount as last year, but I don't feel good about it. She said she feels uncomfortable now. I hate that, too.

She also said she feels like they think of us as better friends than we do. Ouch!! That hurt because I know we haven't done nearly what they have done to help us out, but our lives are a little all consuming right now. Plus, we are kinda home bodies. We are not ones to go to our neighbors and knock on the door to hang out for awhile. We think of them as good friends but I guess the levels are different.

I just feel awful about the whole thing and wish that we had worked out everything in the summer.

So now you know.

P.S. Still haven't settled on my blog name

Siren

or

Tempest

Or maybe more appropriately...

Tempest

Name again

Thanks for all the votes :-)

And thanks Soliloquy for the definitions of these two words!

I think I am going to go with Tempest. I like the sound of it better even though I really am more of a siren to Mac. Siren is just way overused I think. To be Tempest would be slightly tongue in cheek because I can be the furious uproar of a storm at times as well. I can also be the sweet call of a beguiling woman. It depends on who you ask. My brother would say Tempest just because it has the word pest in it. I may decide from day to day who I want to be. Ha!! Wouldn't that be fun. Hmmm...Will I be a Tempest or Siren today?? Can I combine the two?

The Tempest Siren

Eh...no I think I will just go with Tempest. As much as I hate to admit it, it is more me.

I promise to do more posting now. It has been a crazy week. I have lots to blog about; my ex, my meds, my books, my coupons, so so much.

Thank you for joining me here. It means so much to have people who want to know me for me and not just because I have twins.

Thanks (as I am hanging my head and twisting my toe in the dirt)

Tempest

I need a name

Some other blogs I read have names for themselves and their families. I love Soliloquy over at She Just Had To Say It and Red at Ramblings of a Red Headed Stepchild. And what about Straight Shooter? All great names that tell a little about themselves. Well, I like the idea of using another name on this blog. I have already dubbed my honey The Master of the Ship or simply the Pirate. Cuz I wish he was he looks like one to me when he is in bed next to me. And he is the head of our household aka "the ship" so this is appropriate I think. But I may settle on Mac because he is in love with he likes his MAC computer and all things Apple.

I am batting around names for myself. Maybe a lady pirate? or a Shakespearean name (LOVE Shakespeare!!)?? Help me out here. How should I sign off each time?

Should I be:
~Siren to his captain
~Tempest to his ship
~Princess Sela, who was a skilled warrior and experienced pirate
~Cymbeline, one of my fav Shakespeare plays
~Synopsis, because I am telling a brief view of things
~Legs, Mac's suggestion as he wiggled his eyebrows at me

Which one or tell me another you think might fit me...

First Post

I am starting this blog to empty my mind. Will anyone else read it? Hmmm...maybe. Maybe not. I haven't decided yet. Love that I can write about anything or anyone.